


Closing the distance

by inexplicabletrousers



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Leia is an amazing person, Past Leia Organa/Han Solo, Resistance Member Ben Solo, Unplanned Pregnancy, but not such a good mum, reylo family, undercover ben solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 23:37:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexplicabletrousers/pseuds/inexplicabletrousers
Summary: After burning Luke's school, Ben ran home to Leia before going to Snoke. He has been playing a long game for years now, but Rey has news that will change everything.





	1. Chapter 1

‘That’s not the point.’ His eyes were burning into hers now, and she shifted uncomfortably. She watched, helpless, as he began to pace, strides too long for their small space.’What am I supposed to do?’ He asked, turning to stare at her again. ‘I can’t-’

 

‘I _know._ ’ Rey answered, staring back. ‘I’m not asking you to. That’s not my place anyway. I’m just telling you. It’s not like you wouldn’t have felt it soon enough anyway, but I wanted to be the one to tell you. I didn’t want it to blindside you at an inappropriate time.’

 

‘It’s blindsided me now.’ He grumbled, but he glanced away, gaze softening. ‘I don’t know what to do.’ He sighed and sat, apparently on the bunk opposite, though Rey didn’t know where he really was. She supposed he was surrounded by dark steel and echoing silence, rather than the soft greys and hum of distant voices in her small chambers onboard their newly acquired flagship. He stood again and wandered across the room, staring at the wall. A window then. Though she was looking at his back, she felt his gaze on her from across the lightyears between them. She shook her head and went to him, taking his hand, lifting it to her lips for a moment as she rested her head against his shoulder.

 

‘I know. Me neither.’ She spoke softly. She was just as afraid as he was; more, perhaps. Since she had felt the life pulsing within her she had been spiralling, waiting for their next shared moment to confide in him and hope he had answers. He didn’t. While she had hoped that for once he would take the lead in this, he was as faltering and unsure as he always was. They stood in silence for a moment, Ben gazing into the void outside his window as Rey gazed at the wall ahead of her. It was Ben who eventually broke the silence.

 

‘Does anyone else know?’ He asked quietly, silently hoping that Rey would have someone else to guide her in this. He couldn’t be a father, it wasn’t an option for him right now; he was too far away. He wouldn’t leave his child constantly waiting and wishing for a father who may or may not return, it wasn’t fair. He would be a bad parent anyway; he had no idea how to do it. Any child of his would turn out like him. It wasn’t viable.

 

Beside him Rey shook her head. ‘I wanted you to know first.’ She told him, turning slightly to bury her face in his sleeve. He turned too, pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arms around her. If he focussed he could feel it too; the life growing within her. Life they had created. It was terrifying and beautiful all at once and he wanted to run, but he didn’t ever want to move again. He placed his hand gently on her stomach, spreading his fingers to cover the width of her slender frame.

 

‘I thought about snuffing it out.’ She admitted. ‘I still could if that’s-’ She stopped when she looked up to see his scandalised expression.

 

‘No.’ He paused, swallowing. ‘Unless that’s what you want? I’m halfway across the galaxy Rey. It’s not my decision.’ Rey shook her head. ‘I thought maybe you were thinking about it,’ she looked down, placing her hand over his.

 

‘It might be the best way forwards,’ she sighed, stepping away from him. He said nothing. This was her decision to make. She could be right, though he knew if she made that choice it would haunt him. Another death on his conscience. Rey watched him as he thought, reading his every emotion in those dark, expressive eyes. After a few minutes he spoke again. ‘Talk to my Mother. If we- If we’re going to do this I want to be there. That’s her call.’ Rey rolled her eyes.

 

‘It’s your call. You decide what you do.’ Ben shrugged. After everything he had done, he owed his mother his service. It was a gift and a promise he renewed each day, even as he longed to go back, and he would continue to give it until she told him his penance was through. This was his punishment and his redemption. He would work it out for as long as was required. ‘Talk to her.’ He told Rey, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead as he let the connection slip and stood alone once more.

 

Rey stared at the spot where he had stood for a few moments longer before sighing and leaving her room in search of Leia. It would take some explaining. Usually when she went to Leia after speaking with Ben it was all business; just intelligence he had gathered, or confirming that he would forge ahead with whatever sabotage Leia had designed that he could pass off as poor leadership. Now though, she had no idea how Leia would react. She worried that this would worsen the sadness she saw lurking at the edges of Leia’s gaze whenever they spoke about her wayward son. She knocked on the door to Leia’s chambers, entering when invited.

 

The General sat opposite Poe at a small table, each looking up into the holomap projected from it, quietly discussing tactics. Poe smiled at Rey briefly, but quickly turned back to what he was doing, too engaged in his planning to pay a great deal of attention to the girl who had interrupted them. Leia, on the other hand, stood and moved towards her, grasping her hands as a silent greeting. Rey accepted her touch, though the constant hugging, shoulder touching, hand squeezing of the resistance was something she found almost cloying at times. With Ben it was different; their mental closeness meant that after it had been initiated over a year ago on Ach-To, physical closeness came without thought. She had warning with Ben, too, always knowing when he would reach for her and where he would touch. Leia released her hands, and she felt immediately more at ease. She glanced over at Poe, and cleared her throat. ‘Could we speak in private?’ Stars, Leia didn’t even know about her relationship with Ben, she realised. She knew they were friends, but beyond that she hadn’t shared any details of how their friendship had swiftly become more intimate in the snatched moments they shared across the miles between them. Explaining to Leia would present enough of a challenge; explaining to Poe was a bridge she would cross further down the line, if it was necessary.

 

The older woman smiled warmly, though it didn’t erase the sadness in her eyes and tilted her head slightly. This would be about Ben, then. ‘Rey, Poe is aware of Ben’s current role. You can share any information he’s given you with us both.’

 

Rey shook her head. ‘It’s something else.’ She would not share anything further while Poe was in the room, but watched him instead, hoping he would soon be finished with whatever it was he was doing as he rotated the map and scribbled on the pad set below it. Poe looked up as the two women watched him and held his hands up.

 

‘I’m out. We can continue this later.’ Leia smiled at him as he left the room.

 

‘Take a break, Poe. I don’t want you to go and work on something else. Taking care of yourself is just as important as caring for your troops,’ Poe muttered something noncommittal back and Leia shook her head, and sighed ‘right. What do you need to speak to me about?’ Rey pressed her lips together for a second, unsure how to phrase this.

 

‘I’m pregnant.’ Just come out with it. That was the way forward; to just come out with it and face whatever consequences there would be. Leia looked at her, a strange sharpness in her expression.

 

‘With Ben?’ She asked, already knowing the answer. She would know if Rey had been conducting an affair with someone else onboard the ship - she knew the signs. When Rey nodded, she sat down at the now empty table and gestured for Rey to sit opposite.

 

‘Does he know?’ Leia seemed sad, more than anything. Rey had hoped she’d be at least a little excited to be a grandmother.

 

‘He knows.’ She kept her voice level, hiding the disappointment she felt. ‘I love him, Leia. It’s not just- we weren’t just being stupid, I love him.’ Leia rubbed her forehead with one hand, still surprised by the wrinkles she felt there. She never felt as old as she looked. She still felt like the girl who took on the empire single-handed, but then- Ben made her feel old. This made her feel even older; a grandchild? Her stomach twisted slightly as a memory punched her in the gut. Han had been right. He hadn’t lived long enough to be a grandfather.

 

‘I know you do, Rey. I’m glad he has someone, but-’ she looked up and met the girl’s gaze - ‘I don’t imagine he took it well.’

 

Rey bristled at Leia’s lack of faith in her son. He had given so much to help their cause, and she knew how hard he was striving to win back his mother’s favour. She had to give him something. ‘He took it as well as I did. Neither of us know what we’re doing.’ She said stiffly, and Leia softened.

 

‘No, of course not. I don’t think anyone does. Rey, I don’t mean to be insensitive, but do you intend to keep it?’  There it was, the question she had been waiting for. She didn’t know.

 

‘Ben wants to.’ She said quietly, ‘He said it was my decision, but he wants to keep it.’ Leia nodded, suppressing her irritation; of course he would want to keep it. He was half a galaxy away and would have little to do with it anyway. Rey would be the one caring for the child, it was very much her choice.

 

‘He’s right. He’s not here, Rey. It’d just be you.’ Rey glared at her openly now, sick of her dismissing Ben. ‘He wants to come home, if I keep it. He said it was your decision though.’

 

Leia pressed her lips together, eyebrows knit as she tried to think out the options before them. ‘If he stays we win.’ She said bluntly. ‘But if he doesn’t I have him home,’ for a moment Rey saw a wistful look pass across her face, but it was swiftly replaced with the practical leader Rey knew. ‘It’s not my choice. He’s an adult, he needs to make this choice himself. As do you.’ She fixed Rey with a stern gaze, and the younger woman clenched her jaw. ‘Talk to Ben more. I think he should stay and finish what he’s started, but ultimately this is a decision the two of you make together.’

 

Ben sat on the edge of the bed. He should move. He should do something, but his legs had turned to lead and all he could do was sit and try to sort through the thoughts running through his head. They were going to have a baby. Maybe. Either way this changed everything; the tug off whatever connected her heart to his had always made the distance unbearable. Now it was untenable. He needed to go to her, to them. His family. Though he didn’t have the first clue about how to be a father, how to be anyone who could be relied upon, he wanted to try. He looked up to see Rey watching him. ‘You’re back?’ He asked, looking up at her through long fluttering lashes. She nodded, kneeling in front of him so that their eyes were level and taking his hands. She would have to tell him the truth; he would know if she lied or even omitted anything. He always saw right through her, just as she saw through him.

 

‘I spoke to your mother.’ Rey’s stomach clenched as he took a shaky breath, waiting for the verdict. ‘She said it was my decision. Our decision.’ He nodded, but waited. There was more, he could see Rey holding back. ‘She wants you to stay though, to-’ she scowled ‘to finish this before you come home. But she said it was your choice.’

 

Ben looked away, standing suddenly and walking back over to where Rey assumed the window was. ‘Of course. I’ll stay then. I should-’ Rey stood too, striding over to interrupt him, grabbing his shoulder and making him face her.

 

‘You should do what you want to do. You’ve given enough, you deserve happiness.’

 

Ben grimaced, avoiding her gaze. ‘No.’ He spoke softly and Rey wanted to bash his stupid head against the wall and knock some sense into him.

 

‘Yes.’ She pushed his shoulder, waiting for him to look at her again. When he did she softened her voice, not wanting to scare him off with the intensity of her feelings. It was likely pointless anyway, he would feel the emotions coming from her like the tide rushing in to fill a pool. ‘I want this. I want us to be a family, together. I can’t do it when you’re miles away.’

 

Ben’s eyes widened and for a moment she saw his bottom lip quiver, and then he was kissing her, lips soft against hers but pressing, insistent. He kissed like a man dying of thirst drinks; hungry and demanding. When they parted, each breathing heavily, Rey saw tears shining in his eyes. ‘I’ll come home. Anything. I’ll be there, I’ll turn this whole star destroyer around and fly to you, I don’t care.’

 

Rey laughed breathlessly and pressed another kiss onto his cheek. ‘I don’t know that dragging half the First Order to our doorstep again is your best idea, but I appreciate the sentiment.’ She gripped his hands in hers, even as he began to fade from view. ‘We’ll get this right.’ She promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to be either planning children's church for Sunday or writing my other fic, but apparently my brain had other plans. Here's this. I don't know if it's a one shot yet, so I guess we'll wait and see. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Check out my tumblr - https://reylo-ology.tumblr.com/ for me whinging about writing and also just reblogging a whole lot of Ben/Rey/Reylo/general star wars stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We begin to think about practicalities.

Leia folded her arms, leaning back in her chair and exhaling heavily. This definitely threw a spanner in the works. ‘We may not have Ben in the field very much longer.’ She said eventually, sitting straight once more and fixing Poe with a serious look. Poe nodded slowly. He had met Ben once, before he knew the man was working with them and though that had been a singularly unpleasant experience, he was willing to accept that Kylo Ren was a fiction and that Ben Solo was a man deserving of his respect. ‘Ok. So we need an extraction plan. And I guess this makes things more difficult for us moving forward; we know that Hux will take the helm in Kylo’s absence so we need-’ he stopped, looking up from his hands where he had been mentally ticking off tasks on his fingers. ‘Why are we losing him?’ He asked, interrupting himself, ‘Is everything ok?’ Leia sighed deeply, rubbing her temples. 

‘Mostly. He would be joining us here, which makes us at least a little less outnumbered. Certainly more equipped with force users than the First Order,’ she shook her head, trying to shake the feeling that her control of the situation was slipping. If she was honest it had been since Han had ignored her request, and then her direct order not to go in and bring Ben back. She had known he was still their’s; still playing a long game. The lack of communication was frightening but she had trusted him, and then- Then she was left unsure and terrified that she had lost both her son and her husband in one day. She still didn’t fully understand what had happened, but Rey and her strange connection with their son had given her back some of that trust. He was working for them. He was hurting and broken and miles away, actions bordering on mania, but he was still working for good. ‘I don’t know if the decision has been made yet, but we should be ready just in case. I can’t explain yet, Poe, but I imagine you’ll find out soon enough.’ 

Poe furrowed his brow, but nodded. ‘Ok. I still think we draw up some kind of extraction plan, where’s Rey? She’ll need to act as go between again, I imagine he has some kind of an out planned but if he needs help we can..’ He trailed off as he saw Leia fail to suppress her laughter. ‘What?’ He asked, deflating and Leia smiled warmly at him. 

 

‘Sorry, Commander. You’re being very practical about this, I’m still a few steps behind. And as for Ben having any kind of a plan… his strength has never lain in good planning. He probably has some half-formed ideas, but I doubt there’s anything more than that.’

 

She was not wrong. Hours later when she sat down at a table opposite Rey and Ben, whose closeness felt somewhat unnerving when she couldn’t actually see or hear him, his plan was the subject of one of her first questions. Their decision to keep the child had not surprised her, and though she was still uncertain about the practicality of the situation she felt a kernel of warmth settle in her chest at the thought of the child. Her grandchild. ‘You’re coming back then?’ She addressed Ben, following Rey’s eye-line to meet her son’s gaze, or at least look in his direction. Ben nodded and Rey elbowed him in the ribs. It felt strange; such a personal, family moment, and she seemed to be looking right at him. He sensed her in the Force, and saw her just as he had seen Luke on Ahch-To, though Luke had seen him to. It frustrated him that his own mother didn’t seem to have that power. ‘She can’t hear me either.’ He told Rey, frowning. ‘You’re going to have to translate.’ Leia watched as Rey smirked at the empty space in the seat beside her, fingers wrapped around a hand that wasn’t there. ‘Does that mean I can change your words?’

 

‘I’d prefer it if you didn’t.’ Leia and Ben spoke at once, and Rey raised her eyebrows, suppressing a laugh.

 

‘Sorry,’ she said to Leia after the woman shot her a confused look. ‘You spoke at the same time. Same words, same tone, it was weird. I’m not going to change anything, don’t worry.’ 

 

Leia smiled, but moved the conversation back to practicalities. She hadn’t spoken to her son in years, not really. They would discuss what needed to be discussed when he returned, but for now she was not ready to be as familiar with him as she perhaps should be. The things they shared, both mannerisms and history, remained a sore subject between them, or so she assumed. ‘Well? He’s coming home?’ She turned her attention to Rey, the simulated conversation with her son too strange to handle for right now. 

 

‘He is.’ Ben intoned and Rey glared at him, unsure as to why he had decided to make this so difficult. 

 

‘He is.’ Rey repeated. ‘We don’t know how yet though,’ she told Leia, hoping the older woman would have some kind of a plan. Ben tapped his fingers on the table as they waited for a response, quietly hoping for some kind of affirmation that this was the right decision. 

 

‘I see.’ Her response gave away nothing and Ben pressed his lips together. Rey shot him a concerned look, squeezing his hand beneath the table. Leia noted Rey’s look and smiled gently. ‘It will be nice to see you again,’ she allowed, looking to where she thought Ben’s face was, ‘we have a lot to talk about.’ Ben looked down, shamefaced, and Rey did nothing to hide her groan. It would be better when they were in the same room, she told herself. It would be better once they had had the conversation she had held with Ben months ago. 

 

_ ‘I had no choice. Snoke was- I had to keep my cover, he was already suspicious. He was always looking and asking and groping around in my brain. Hiding from him was becoming impossible and I had to do something.’ Ben’s voice began quiet and slow, but the subtle crescendo told Rey how close to the bone her question had cut. He still wasn’t ready for this, but she didn’t know if he ever would be. It was better they dealt with this now, rather than allowing it to fester, an ugly wound beneath the surface of their relationship. _

 

_ ‘Ben,’ she said quietly, trying to keep her voice calming and level, but he continued as though she hadn’t spoken. _

 

_ ‘I was in character, I  _ was _ Kylo, that wasn’t-’ his fist clenched at his side ‘-it wasn’t me. You have to understand that. It was Kylo. He killed Han, I-’ _

 

_ ‘Ben,’ She said again, more firmly, and he looked up this time, ‘sit down.’ He had been pacing around the room, becoming increasingly more agitated as he did. She held out a hand and he took it, letting her pull him down to sit beside her. ‘I don’t think that’s entirely true, Ben. I was there, I saw you. I saw You.’ Ben’s lip trembled and he hung his head. _

 

_ ‘I panicked.’ He said quietly. ‘None of it felt real. I didn’t expect to see him there, he  _ knew  _ I was undercover. I could either go with him or…’ He stopped, each of them picturing that moment; the choice he had made. _

 

_ ‘I can’t endorse what you did Ben.’ Rey told him sadly, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand nonetheless. He swallowed, jaw clenching and unclenching.  _

 

_ ‘I know that. I can’t- I don’t have an explanation. Maybe I believed what Snoke was telling me for a minute. Maybe it was my mother in me, putting our cause before everything else. I don’t know.’ Rey saw the tears rolling unchecked down his cheek, tracking through the scar she had left there, a constant reminder of how far they had come. She cupped his cheek, gently wiping them away with her thumb.  _

 

_ ‘I can’t forgive you,’ she murmured. ‘If it was my place, I would. Whatever your reasoning, you know it was a terrible mistake. You’re obviously punishing yourself enough.’  _

 

_ He turned then, bending to bury his face in her shoulder as he let himself cry openly, and Rey combed her fingers through his hair. At least they had got things out in the open.  _

Leia shifted a little in her seat, rearranging her cloak beneath her. ‘Do you have a time frame in mind?’ Rey snapped back to the present moment, glancing down at her stomach. 

 

‘Before the baby comes?’ She looked up at Ben who nodded, seemingly more comfortable now that the hurdles had been jumped and they were back to discussing practicalities; just like his mother. 

 

‘Do you know how long that’ll be?’ He asked her, following her gaze, and she placed a hand across the spot where she knew cells were splitting and forming, growing into a tiny person. He reached out and placed his hand across hers, waiting for her to nod permission before he touched her. 

 

‘Around seven months.’ She said, leaving Leia to fill in the gaps. Seven months. Just over half a year; that was… It felt like an age and at the same time no time at all. She felt butterflies in her stomach and had to take a steadying breath. It was only three years since she had left Jakku, and now she was a key member of the resistance, having a baby with the leader of the First order, who also happened to be a spy and the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa. She felt slightly dizzy all of a sudden. Leia Organa, rebel hero, would be her baby’s grandmother. 

 

‘Are you ok?’ Ben asked and at the same time Leia rose and walked around to sit beside her, in the chair she hoped was not currently occupied by a vision of her son. Lei put her arm around Rey’s shoulder even as Ben slipped his free arm around her waist, and she took another slow, deep breath. ‘I’m ok.’ She looked Ben first, smiling reassuringly, then turned to Leia. ‘Everything hit me all at once. It’s all a bit crazy. I kind of thought I’d just starve on Jakku if my parents didn’t come back. I didn’t expect to have a family.’ Leia’s face split into a huge, warm smile.

 

‘Well you do. You have since you joined us. Now it’s getting bigger.’ She looked up to where she though Ben’s eyes were, actually just the top of his head as he bent to kiss Rey where her hair parted. ‘We’ll talk more about this later. I think Commander Dameron would be a useful addition to the conversation if you agree.’ 

 

Ben hummed his agreement into Rey’s hair and she nodded, relaying the message. He had spoken indirectly to Dameron a few times through Rey, just relaying information when his mother was not available, but the man had a good head for leadership and seemed pleasant enough if a little over-confident - something he struggled to wrap his head around. Leia took Rey’s hand between hers and squeezed it. ‘I’ll leave you two alone for now. Next time Ben’s around let me know and we’ll speak to Poe.’ Ben looked up, watching as his mother left the room, before pulling Rey onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her and pressing kisses into her neck. She squirmed slightly, making herself comfortable against his broad chest. 

 

‘You can do this.’ He told her, and she felt his confidence in her like a crutch, holding her up when she couldn’t do it herself. ‘You can.’ He asserted again, calm and sure for the first time since she had told him. This was Rey. His Rey, the scavenger turned Jedi who had bested him twice without training and wormed her way into his heart before he noticed enough to put up any defences. She could do anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Leia is my actual favourite Star Wars character, idk why she's always being a dick when I write her... Also that's probably going to get worse before it gets better - fair warning. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this!!
> 
> Kudos and comments and I'll maybe consider trying to put some smut in here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some new developments. Rey is a little overwhelmed.

Rey did not tell Leia to get Poe the next time she saw Ben. It was one of her favourite kinds of meeting, at bedtime when they each lay, miles apart, yet somehow beside each other, eyelids heavy but unwilling to close and lose their view of the other’s face. Rey smiled sleepily as she rolled over to see him beside her. ‘Hey.’ She murmured, reaching out a hand to trace his jaw, smiling when he grabbed it and pressed it to his lips.

 

‘Hey yourself.’ He murmured back, suppressing a yawn. At least he would sleep tonight. Beside her he felt safe and at peace, the sound of her soft breath and the gentle rise and fall of her chest as he held her against his chest a lullaby that always carried him off into a sleep unmarred by nightmares which were too close to memories. Rey smiled, squirming over to tuck herself under his arm.

 

‘Long day?’ She asked, noting the frown lines and dark circles that painted his face as a picture of exhaustion.  He groaned and shifted slightly to allow his arm to reach around her waist and pull her in even closer. 

 

‘They’re all long days. But yeah today was particularly exhausting,’ He extracted his arm and rubbed his eye, huge hand covering most of the scar that split his cheek. ‘I just want to be done with this. I’m not focussed anymore.’ 

 

‘Yeah that makes sense,’ She replied, though didn’t see how he had been particularly focussed before this, but she would let that slide. ‘You could just come home now, we don’t have to wait. It’s all just politics anyway right? You come home and we’ll just fight Hux if he follows.’ Rey understood how he felt. She had been fighting for the resistance because it felt right - it was right- but this seemed so much more important than any of that. Of course she had a duty to the galaxy and to her newly found family, as did Ben, but this felt like something that should be theirs; a small pocket of peace in the war that surrounded them. She didn’t want her baby to grow up fighting to survive, or trying to live up to some legacy that was half-legend anyway. They needed to carve out a space for this child in the galaxy, and if she had to take down the whole First Order single handedly to do that then she would. 

 

Ben looked down at her awkwardly, his chin meeting his chest as he strained to make eye contact despite their position. ‘I would pay to watch you fight Hux.’ He told her, expression still dour, but eyes twinkling with barely concealed mirth. 

 

Rey snorted, ‘I bet you would.’ 

 

He dropped his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes, mumbling as he began to fall asleep. ‘That’s the plan then. I’ll just leave and come find you and you can fight off Hux and whoever he brings while I watch.’

 

‘Sounds fair. He’d only end up knocking you out anyway,’ Rey teased, trying to get a rise from her partner. She sat up slightly to see his expression when he failed to respond, but he was already asleep. At least he was still there, she thought. He would frequently vanish in the middle of conversations; he had occasionally disappeared in the middle of more intimate situations, leaving both of them frustrated. She hoped that tonight would be one of the times when the bond stayed open, and she awoke in his arms. She closed her eyes and let herself drift off.

 

_ They were outdoors. That was the first thing that struck her. It was cold, and the rain was drenching through her clothes as she carried the bundle of twigs under her arm, other hand extended, floating the logs before her. The wood would be wet when she got home, but it would have to do. The rainstorm had struck before she expected, and the child trailing behind her was complaining loudly about how wet they were. ‘You know when I was on Jakku it never rained. I didn’t even see rain until I was 20,’ she told the small boy that followed her. He continued to whine and Rey sighed, barging the door open with her hips and holding it to let him walk through ahead of her. His dark hair was plastered to his face by the rain, and he ran into the modest stone cottage before she could catch a glimpse of his face.  _

 

Rey sat up suddenly, eyes wide. Beside her Ben blinked awake, saber flying to his hand at the sudden movement. Rey turned to him, peeling his fingers from the hilt and bending to kiss him. ‘I saw him,’ she breathed reverently as she smiled down at her partner, ‘our son. I dreamt-’

 

‘Him?’ Ben asked, voice hoarse as he rubbed sleep from his eyes, brow furrowed. ‘I saw you with our daughter.’ He reached a hand out to touch her stomach and pulled it back like he had been burned. 

***

‘Twins?’ Leia asked, more bemused than anything else. ‘I suppose it makes sense.’  Rey nodded, still dumbstruck by the notion herself. Two babies. One baby she could have worked out how to do it, maybe. But two babies. Ben had disappeared shortly after their discovery, having offered slightly panicked assurances that she could do this, once again removing himself from the equation in this pictured future. 

 

Poe shook his head. ‘Hold on, so now two babies. You are having two babies with Kylo Ren?’ He raised an eyebrow waiting for Rey to respond. She scowled and shot him a look. 

‘I am having twins, apparently, and  _ Ben  _ is the father.’ Rey clarified, and Poe looked over at Leia.

 

‘And you knew? I don’t even get how that’s possible-’ He stood up, pointing accusingly at Rey, ‘Is that what you got up to on the  _ Finaliser _ ? Because I thought that you were fighting Snoke, or getting him to change sides or something.’ 

 

Leia rolled her eyes. ‘Poe, that was over a year ago, calm down.’ She grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand down. ‘I knew the two of them were close, which is as much as you knew. I had… suspicions, but I didn’t feel that raising them would be anything other than idle gossip.’ Rey smirked at Poe as he swallowed his pride, the man’s ridiculous indignance distracting her momentarily.

 

‘Sorry, Poe. I know you had designs on Ben when he got back.’ She teased, eeking out Poe’s discomfort for as long as she could.

 

‘You, shut up. I am not the one who-’ He told her and Leia cleared her throat, fighting to keep a straight face.

 

‘Do I need to get Finn to sort you two out again?’ She asked, looking from one hot head to the other. She could only imagine this getting far worse once her son arrived; he had never been one to keep his temper, and there was little that would stop Poe from speaking his mind. The two of the together would be an interesting combination, if not so volatile that they would accidentally destroy parts of her ship. She would have to monitor that situation. Poe glared, but sat down again, while Rey continued to pace. 

 

‘I want him home as soon as possible. I need-’ she swallowed, toning herself down. She did need him. She felt his absence like a chasm; a gaping emptiness like she was incomplete when he wasn’t by her side. Even then, she missed him sometimes, if he wasn’t touching her. She was being ridiculous; she had gone for so long with no one touching her at all, and she still shied away from any unnecessary touch from most people. With Ben she would happily lose the use of a limb if it meant she could have his physical reassurance with her at all times. ‘This is terrifying.’ She admitted. ‘I don’t know how to do it, and at least if he’s there he’ll tell me I can, even if I know he’s lying.’ She flopped down onto the bench beside Leia with a sigh, and Poe looked up, gaze softened. 

 

‘I’m sorry I was a jerk. It was just a lot to take in - you get that though right.’ Rey pressed her lips together, nodding. ‘Yeah, so anyway, you have us though. I mean I have no idea how to care for kids but I’ll help out any way I can. I know Finn and Rose will too. And Leia, I mean Leia’s actually had a kid, so she can help too… What?’ Rey was focussed on something above his head and he turned, but saw nothing. ‘Speak of the devil, right?’

 

Rey smiled slightly, ‘He’s in a meeting, I think. Trying not to look at me.’ She continued to stare at Ben intently, trying to catch his eye and distract him. When he glanced over she pulled a face, testing his steely expression. Leia glared at her.

 

‘Stop trying to blow his cover please. You won’t get him back sooner that way.’ Rey shrugged. It wasn’t like this was an infrequent occurrence, or anything Ben didn’t expect. If she was being honest she knew he’d be more concerned if she didn’t try to distract him; probably come to her later, panicked, making sure she was ok. 

 

‘He won’t crack, he’ll just pretend to be annoyed with me when really he’s grateful that I’m distracting him during his dull meetings.’ She maintained her gaze and Ben glanced over at her again, careful to keep his expression neutral. She grinned at him. She’d be in trouble for this when they next saw each other, but for now it was worth it. She could feel his equal parts amusement and irritation and it was something she savoured. 

 

Leia cleared her throat again, bringing Rey’s focus back to the room. She knew how terrifying this was. Stars, motherhood still scared her and she had been doing it for longer than Rey had been alive. She knew how daunting it was to face it alone, and that was just with one child. If Ben wanted to come home, he could. For Rey. ‘As soon as possible then.’ She looked up to where Ben presumably stood, ‘You’ll have to tell us what you need. We can do what needs to be done, but you are the only one with the information required to begin the extraction.’ He nodded curtly and Rey let Leia know, though she was not sure the nod had been directed at them. She had felt the familiar twist of anxiety from him, though, and that was enough to show her that he had heard his mother’s words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was always going to be twins with these two, because I can so I did.
> 
> I go back to work on Tuesday so chances are you will not be getting daily updates after that, but I do intend to keep going with this until I decide it's finished. I'm thinking under 10 chapters though so I may be done fairly soon :)
> 
> Hope you are enjoying this!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans plans plans.

The notion that Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, the half-man half-monster who had terrorised the galaxy for years now, was in fact Ben Organa-Solo, Leia’s son and double agent was not one that was immediately accepted, or even taken seriously in many cases. Poe and Rey spent the first week after the announcement was made fielding questions and assuring people that Leia’s words were correct, and that it was not some First Order ruse they had been taken in by. They bumped into each other in a corridor, each just released from another long and intense conversation about Ben’s culpability in the deaths of resistance members, and whether they were expected to accept him on his return. As usual Rey had told them that it was not her job to force anyone to accept anyone else, but that it would be appreciated if people could be at least civil. Poe was, as usual, decidedly more demanding about matters. ‘Yes, I expect you to accept him. He has been working for us for years in what I can only imagine is a horrific situation. You don’t have to like Kylo Ren, you have to let Ben Solo start with a blank slate. Hell, more than that. You think we’d ever have got off Crait without him?’ He would end this little speech by staring whoever had approached him down, and waiting for a response. Typically this would be a breaking of eye contact and an awkward shuffle of an apology which Poe would refuse to accept - it was not his apology to take - and stride away.

 

‘Hey,’ he ran a hand through his hair and  shot her a tired smile. ‘Anything from Ben?’ Rey swallowed, shaking her head. Her face was drawn, dark smudges beneath her eyes standing out against her too pale complexion, and Poe stopped. ‘Are you alright Rey?’ His expression changed from general exasperation to concern and the Jedi nodded. 

 

‘Just tired. And I’m sick - Leia said that’s normal.’ She paused for a moment before speaking again. ‘Poe, could you stop shouting at people when they ask about Ben? I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but it just means more people bother me about it and frankly I’m annoyed at him right now.’

 

Poe smirked at her, ‘you know it takes two, right?’ he asked, deliberately provoking her.

 

‘Yeah, well now there are two people growing inside me and I can’t eat anything. Seems like Ben’s job was a lot easier.’ Rey scowled, but even that was weak and Poe scrambled to turn the conversation back to their shared burden.

 

‘Right, it does seem unfair. Not sure how much I can help out with any of that though. I’ll try to be less blunt with people.’ He shot her an apologetic smile and she returned it.

 

‘Thanks. I’m going to try and get some sleep.’ Rey turned and wandered off down the corridor as Poe watched.   

***

 

Kylo Ren bent over the head of the table, palms flat as he scanned through the plans set before him. ‘No.’ He intoned eventually, offering no further explanation to the increasingly exasperated General Hux who stood to one side, forcing a patient expression. When he spoke it was through gritted teeth and Ben could taste the barely contained fury crackling in the air around him.

 

‘But Supreme Leader, while I appreciate the time you have devoted to reviewing these plans, I wonder if a little more consideration might-’ His voice cut off as Kylo straightened, raising a hand which he closed slowly into a fist. Hux found himself standing, voiceless, behind the man who had not even turned to look at him as he casually took his bodily autonomy. 

 

‘I have considered it, and I don’t see the value in decimating populations that could otherwise be of use to us. Your enthusiasm for destruction is blinding you, General.’ He opened his fist, allowing Hux to speak once more as he swept out of the room, troopers flanking him. He dismissed them swiftly and made his way back to his chambers, sinking onto the edge of the bed and dropping his head into his hands. He knew that the moment he was gone Hux would take control, and his work would be ultimately fruitless. Hux without anyone to temper his bloodlust was not something he wanted to unleash on the galaxy, and yet it was unavoidable. It always came down to this same choice; the galaxy or his family. He screwed his eyes closed for a moment, refusing to remember his father’s gasp as he was skewered; his thumb on Ben’s face; the forgiveness in his eyes. Uncle Luke crushed beneath the rubble of his academy, and then somehow alive again, staring him down before disappearing again. His mother’s lukewarm response to the prospect of his return…

 

For a moment he wished he was selfless enough to stay and fulfill whatever fantasy his mother had of his leading the First Order into hell; sacrificing himself for the cause in doing so; but he wasn’t. Rey needed him, and he would go to her - if she had asked him to stay, he would. He would suffer the separation and the knowledge that his children would grow up miles away, their father someone they knew of in stories, maybe caught a glimpse of now and again through the bond. If that was what she asked, he would do it - watching his children grow from afar, never able to hold or comfort them when they were afraid, just hoping beyond anything that they knew he was doing this for them; for his family. He held onto the fact that she wanted him to come back like a raft in an ocean of uncertainty, a small glowing truth in the heart of all the darkness he allowed to consume him. The galaxy could burn for all he cared; he would find a space in the wreckage for them to be together - for them to be happy.

 

He looked up, hoping he would see her. She felt close, but there was still nothing - at this point he struggled to differentiate between reality and his need to see her - perhaps he’d imagined her. It had been a few days now; not the longest separation by any means, but he was more anxious about her now, needing some assurance that she was ok. The last time he had seen her she’d seemed fine; sitting with his mother and presumably Poe, trying to distract him while he was stuck listening to yet another dull report. She was probably fine. He rose and started pacing, trying to work out some sort of a solution that would take him home, but would not leave Hux to enact his cruel schemes. He could just kill Hux. That was an option, surely, but then he knew how many men just as bloodthirsty and committed waited below Hux for the moment his hubris in the face of their new leader would lead to his untimely demise. Kill Hux and another takes his place, likely bastardising Hux’s own schemes and passing them off as their own. It least he knew Hux. Better an enemy you can predict than an unknown quantity at the helm. Hux would stay. He would think of something to slow him down; some means by which his departure wouldn’t immediately be recognised as a betrayal. He could-

 

He crashed into Rey, having not noticed her arrival as he paced the small room, wrapped in his own thoughts. She was leaning against the wall, breathing slowly, hands on her thighs and Ben felt a wave of nausea coming from her, turning his own stomach. He put a hand on the wall above her head, steadying himself from the unexpected impact. She smiled weakly up at him, and despite her obvious discomfort just the knowledge that she was still there, still waiting for him, was enough to relieve his anxiety for a moment. He straightened after a moment, passing his eye over her, noting her pallid skin and the slight sheen of sweat on her face as she swallowed and gritted her teeth, eyes closing again after her brief unspoken greeting. He crouched before her, taking her hands and some of her weight as she slid down the wall. ‘You’re not well.’ He stated, pressing his own lips together. He was clueless when it came to illness; his medical knowledge extended to how he could treat various wounds in battle in order to continue undeterred by trivialities. Rey let out a small chuckle. 

‘What gave me away?’ she groaned, wrapping an arm around her stomach. Ben grimaced and sat beside her, leaning against the wall and wrapping his arm around her. 

 

‘Does anyone know? Are they helping you?’ Rey nodded, turning her head into his side. Her words were muffled when they came.

 

‘Leia thinks it’s normal. It’s not usually this bad I just had to walk by the canteen. The smell was too much. It’ll pass.’ 

 

‘It’s not always this bad?’ Ben asked, his tone demanding yet sympathetic.

 

‘No. As long as I eat regularly. Rations are best, annoyingly. They’re bland which helps.’ Ben nodded slowly. 

 

‘And the babies? I haven’t felt anything untoward. They’re ok?’ 

 

‘They’re fine. I should get up -’ she opened her eyes at this, and began to rise. Ben stood quickly, offering a hand to help her which she gratefully took - ‘While you’re here we should speak to your mother and Poe about your exit strategy.’ He tugged her up and they walked together, him through the corridors he knew would be empty, headed nowhere in particular while she walked through the Resistance flagship towards one of the rooms she knew the officers frequently used to strategise. She arrived as Ben returned to his rooms, and as she put out the call for Leia and Poe to meet her there, he double checked the security measures on his chambers, ensuring that the closed door left the space soundproof and impenetrable. 

 

The meeting was brief - he outlined his plan, and the resistance members offered a few significant changes, filling in the blanks he had intended to leave to chance and deal with in the moment with more structured ideas that would make the process more predictable. It was decided that since he intended to leave the First Order ship under the pretence of an important mission, it would be wise for him to travel alone. He would deal with any escort unaided; he was not particularly worried about this part of the plan. He would have the element of surprise, and if he took his TIE Silencer he would have the superior ship. He could easily ensure that the pilots accompanying him would be less competent than him, though Poe and Leia had been less than impressed when he had relayed this information. He had rolled his eyes, unable to stop himself. They could sit there and judge him if they wanted, distanced from the depravity that was his everyday existence as leader of the First Order. He had a job to do; one that Leia herself had not only sanctioned, but had suggested; he would not let childish morality interfere. Rey was harder to read, and he hoped she understood. She had been understanding about everything else she had seen. 

 

Hux on the other hand, had the understanding of a child who does not want to go to bed, regardless of how late it is. When he announced his urgent mission to the outer rim to some long abandoned Jedi temple in search of ancient knowledge, Ben could see Hux almost rubbing his hands together in glee that he would be left in charge. It was, or course, clear that Ben did not expect Hux to disobey any direct orders in his absence, and that any forays into the chemical warfare he had been plotting would not be looked on kindly upon Kylo Ren’s return. ‘And General,’ Kylo spoke again as Hux turned to leave the throne room, ‘ensure that the escort you insist upon me taking are trained in ground combat. I anticipate trouble when we land.’ Hux inclined his head, his version of a bow, and turned once more, finally leaving the room. Ben hoped fervently it would be their last meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually like parts of this chapter which is very unusual for me... I hope you did too! Poor old Rey. Also I'm probably going to finish this once the bairns are borned but I will also leave room to do some manner of sequel.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Idk what to call the boy baby so any suggestions would be welcome!!
> 
> Visit me on tumblr! 'reylo-ology'


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia thinks about the last time she saw her son.

Leia couldn’t help dwelling on the last time she had seen her son. This was different she told herself. He had put himself through hell to make up for what had happened, and she needed to show him she appreciated it. He would be here soon; Poe had given him their coordinates that morning, and he had estimated his arrival within the next three or four hours. The transition would be difficult enough in and of itself; she knew the rest of the resistance were not particularly pleased with the situation, and Ben had never been one to make friends easily. She had been surprised by how vehemently Poe stuck up for him, but then she knew the man was fiercely loyal to her and to their cause. She supposed it made sense that upon learning Ben’s true role within the First Order and the Resistance that he would respect her son. She glanced at the monitor again, but there were no incoming ships. She met Rey’s eye as they both looked up at the same time and chuckled. ‘He’ll get here when he gets here. It’s only been an hour.’ Rey looked down, cheeks colouring a little.

 

‘I know that. You were looking too.’ Leia smiled at her again and raised her hands.

 

‘I suppose I was. Come on, let’s find something to do.’ She stood and gestured for Rey to follow, and the two walked together to the door, separating there to go and find something to fill the time; Leia her paperwork, and Rey to the training simulations to take out some of her anxiety on imaginary enemy fighters. Time still seemed to drag. The paperwork was necessary but dull, and Leia found her head throbbing after a couple of hours had passed. She was interrupted in her work by a voice on the comms unit she kept beside her.

 

‘I’m approaching now, I’ll be there in 5.’

 

Ben.

 

Leia answered before the bridge had a chance.

 

‘Use hangar 3. I’ll be there momentarily,’ She replied, tone slightly breathless. It was time. Ben’s voice crackled through the unit again, less certain this time.

 

‘Mom?’

 

_‘Mom?’ Leia awoke to find her son standing, ragged and panicky beside her bed, knuckles white around his saber as he stood covered in ash and detritus. The smell of sweat, smoke and blood permeated the room and she had to bite her cheek to be sure this was reality and not just another nightmare. She cleared her throat before speaking, ‘Ben? What are you doing here? What happened?’ Her questions were quick and urgent, and she saw her son’s jaw clench, tears glistening in his eyes._

 

_‘Mom, I didn’t… it wasn’t… he was going to kill me.’ The boys voice cracked as he spoke and Leia frowned, turning to sit on the edge of her bed. She reached out a hand to him, but he refused it._

 

_‘Breath, Ben. I need you to explain what happened clearly so I can help.’ She had dealt with nightmares before, and calmed him when he panicked, but this was different. Something had really happened this time. She waited for Ben to take a few shaky breaths, counting them quietly for him. ‘Ok, that’s 10. Do you need another 10?’ He nodded, breaths still coming too fast and heavy. Leia moved forwards and took his hand, refusing to let him snatch it back. ‘Focus on where we are, ok. I’m here. You’re safe.’ She wished Han were here; he was better at talking Ben down. He could usually distract their son with a joke, and once he got him to laugh they’d be back on track - whatever was haunting him would disappear for another day - but Han was not there. He was away managing trade routes or something. An important job, but one that kept him away for too long. She could call him, but dealing with Ben was not something that would wait. She reached out in the force and tried to calm him that way, as she had been doing since he was small enough to hold in her arms. She gasped. Something stopped her; something dark and beyond her understanding. The same darkness that had risen inside him all those days when he had been at home with them and they had been unable to do anything but watch as he spiralled. The darkness that had prompted all those hurried, whispered conversations, all that fear and confusion. It welled up inside her now, and she had to shove it back down. Now was not the time. Not while he stood in front of her, needing her to be strong. She counted again for him, and his breathing slowed a little. He looked up at her through those big, dark eyes, lashes stuck together with tears._

 

_‘Uncle Luke tried to kill me. He thought I was- Snoke was in my head again and he saw or sensed it, and he was about to- Mom, he was going to kill me. I had to do something.’ Leia’s grip tightened around his hand and she searched his face for some sign that this was a falsehood, some trick. Luke wouldn’t- He loved Ben. He had always been there to help, to bring some sense of peace back into their home when neither her nor Han were able. He was always so patient, so understanding. He wouldn’t- And yet there was no sign that Ben was lying. He was a terrible liar; she could always tell and right now he was telling her the truth. She swallowed._

 

_‘What did you do?’ She asked quietly, dreading the answer. Ben looked down, tears spilling over now and falling unchecked down his cheeks, leaving paths through the grime that painted them._

 

_‘I brought the building down. He was crushed,’ He looked up, ‘Mom I had no choice, it was him or me, I didn’t want to-’ Leia’s face hardened as she suppressed her horror.  Luke was... gone? Dead? She felt empty and numb and for a moment she couldn’t look at the man- boy before her. Her brother’s killer. ‘Mom?’ She looked back at him and saw her son again, terrified and broken. She sighed._

 

_‘The other students?’ She asked, voice barely a whisper as she predicted his answer._

 

_‘The ones who weren’t buried thought I’d turned. They tried to stop me, I just wanted to leave,’ his voice grew more desperate with each statement and she could hear the unspoken plea for forgiveness. She couldn’t grant that though, not yet. She nodded slowly._

 

_‘Ok, breath,’ he was panicking again, ‘you were dreaming of Snoke again. He’s still in your head I felt him,’ Ben flinched and pulled his hand back. He was shaking now. ‘Ben, I don’t think he’s going away anytime soon.’ She was thinking through a plan now; some way to work this towards good, somehow. There had to be some hope here, some spark that she could pull from all the darkness and fan into light. Before her, Ben stuffed his saber into his belt, and grasped his elbows, hunching his shoulders and shuddering. Leia rose and went to him, stopping herself from reaching out and pulling him to her. He would flinch away again. He didn’t want to be touched. She knew from experience that touching him could make things worse. She looked up, seeking out his gaze as he avoided hers. ‘What does he want?’ She asked, tone business-like, trying to rise above the situation._

 

_‘He wants me to go to him. He said I couldn’t go home, noone would believe me. I thought maybe you-’ Leia shushed him and he stopped._

 

_‘I don’t know what happened Ben. I believe that you think you’re being truthful, but I don’t know what is real and what is just another of Snoke’s manipulations.’ She paused, suddenly realising the way forward. She hoped Ben would understand. ‘I think you should go to him.’ She said quietly, and Ben’s gaze snapped down to meet hers._

 

 _‘Mom, I didn’t mean to- don’t send me away,’_ not again _, the words were unspoken, but she heard them nonetheless. She reached out, waiting for his small nod before she placed her hand on his arm, squeezing gently._

_‘Ben, you know you can’t stay. You can do good in this; earn his trust, but work for us. It will be difficult, I’m not going to lie to you. You’ll have to do things you don’t want to, but imagine how much good you can do in this. All of the darkness and the hurt, it’ll be for something. We’re at war, Ben. We have to fight and you can help. You can still fight for the resistance, even if you can't fight the dark.' She watched as he fought back his tears and nodded._

 

_‘I’ll go.’ He whispered. ‘I’m sorry, Mom. I tried to be good, I just- he’s always there, in my head and I can’t-’ She shushed him again, pulling him into her arms and holding him_

 

_‘You can still do good. Use this, make it something good.’ She cupped his cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb. ‘There. Now go, he needs to think you came straight to him.’ Ben frowned._

 

_‘He knows I’m here. He still wants me to go. He thinks he'll turn me when I'm there.' He met his mother's gaze and she saw how scared he was. She started to speak again, but he interrupted her. 'I’ll go.’ Leia nodded and he turned, pausing as he reached the door, voice breaking again as he spoke, ‘Mom I’m sorry.’ He waited another moment but she could find no words. She knew. She didn’t know yet if she could forgive him. She watched her son leave with a heavy heart, hoping desperately that she would see him again, that when she knew more she could find a way to close the distance between them._

 

A moment later Ben’s voice came through again. ‘Permission to land?’

 

She lifted the unit to her lips and pressed to speak, though she didn’t know what to say. After a moment she spoke, the weight of her hopes pushed into one word.

 

‘Granted.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on a minute! Is this another fic about Ben and Leia's relationship masquerading as reylo? *No, your honour, I can explain-*
> 
> Yeah it is. Listen I'm stuck on this. We'll get back to your regularly scheduled reylo fluff in a bit.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this angst-fest ! For more find me on tumblr - reylo-ology


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben arrives on the Resistance ship!

Rey felt him approaching before the comms unit at her side buzzed to life. She heard Leia answer Ben’s call and then she was moving, heading towards Hangar 3. She strode quickly down the halls, breaking into a half-run as she drew nearer; as he drew nearer and she  _ felt  _ him. He was actually here. She was going to see him everyday. She still couldn’t believe that he was coming home to her; half expecting something terrible to happen any second; something to steal their happiness and separate them again. She gained some strange looks as she ran down the halls but she didn’t care. She needed to get to him, to see him standing there in the same environment, the same room as her. To touch him and know that he wouldn’t disappear suddenly, leaving her clutching at empty air. She saw him descending the ladder from his TIE silencer as she entered the hangar and before he even turned to see her, she ran, knowing he felt her. Knowing he  _ knew.  _ He dropped the last few rungs and turned quickly as she launched herself at him, and then she was in his arms, bending to kiss him as he held her off the ground. He was here. He was here and he was hers. She couldn’t believe that this was real; somehow their illicit trysts through the Force felt more real than this; more real than her hands in his hair; his lips soft against hers; his tongue on her teeth, in her mouth. Now more than ever she felt that they were alone in their own private world, nothing but the stars and their bodies pressed against each other.

 

They were not alone. For the first time everyone in their vicinity could see both Force-users, and for some people their passionate greeting was something of a surprise. Ben swallowed, letting Rey drop gently to the ground and planting another kiss on her forehead even as his cheeks coloured at the whispers he heard around them. Rey grinned up at him, tears shining in the corners of her eyes. ‘Hi.’ She breathed, torso still pressed against him. He pressed his lips together, suppressing a smile as his tears fell openly. He tried to speak but had no words.

‘Rey,’ was all he managed, but it was enough. Her tears spilled over now, and then their lips met once more.  

 

Behind Rey Leia cleared her throat. Ben looked up, still holding Rey against him palm flat across her back, he took a breath before speaking, tone guarded.  

 

‘Mother,’ he shot her a tentative smile, biting the inside of his lip as he did. He wanted this to go well. He needed things to get better between them; he was at fault. He knew that, but all the same he wished she would make some kind of attempt to bridge the gap between them. He didn’t know how to fix things, it wasn’t something he had ever learned, and the things he had done were not something he had ever imagined he would do. He looked down, breaking eye contact but Leia moved over to him, reaching out. He watched her hand, half needing, half dreading her touch; the last time she had seen him she had held him and sent him away; sent him to Snoke who had all but destroyed him again and again until he finally pushed too hard and Ben had broken, almost jeopardising his mission. It had been a long time since anyone but Rey had touched him without malicious intent. He knew this was different, of course it was, she was his mother, but he couldn’t help flinching slightly. Leia stopped. Her hand hung in the air between them, almost touching him but holding back. Rey pulled back from him, giving mother and son space, and he felt naked without her. He wanted to move; to take her hand and start to rebuild their relationship, but… He didn’t know what she thought of him. He could find out in an instant, but he wouldn’t do that to her. He needed her to do something; to show him that there was a relationship to rebuild; that he hadn’t destroyed another of the few positive relationships he had ever had the day he killed his father. 

 

‘Ben, I-’ Leia paused, unsure how to put her feelings into words. ‘I’m glad your home, son.’ She told him, and he nodded. 

 

‘Mom,’ he murmured and Leia broke. Everything, all the loss, every person she had held onto that had slipped away despite her grasp; it hit her all at once. Her parents, her home, her people, her friends, so many of her friends. Her brother. 

 

Han. 

 

She would not push her son away, regardless of his role in her losses. He was her boy, her baby. She had held him when he had been born and known that the whole galaxy had changed immeasurably just for his existence. Though life had gotten in the way of things, she still held onto that love; love that overwhelmed and consumed her despite their troubled past. She turned back nonetheless. She would not be seen weeping; there was never time for weeping. They had a job to do. She closed her eyes briefly, bringing herself back under the steely hold of her self-control. She turned back to see Rey murmuring to Ben, too quiet for her to hear, and her son’s lips pressed tightly together, his expression defeated. She had messed up again. She always managed to mess things up with Ben. She sighed and waited for her son to look up. ‘I  _ am _ glad you’re home, tactical disadvantages or not. We’ll talk later, ok? You’ve travelled a long way and you should rest. Rey will show you to your rooms.’ 

 

Ben nodded, biting his cheek to stop himself breaking. It would be so easy to step forward and tower over her, spitting words he knew would come, though they may not convey exactly what he meant to say. He wanted to whirl around and fling something across the hangar, or light up his saber and destroy something. Everything in him crashed and stormed, but Rey’s hand in his, her heartbeat in his head and the vibrant life he felt blossoming inside her kept him grounded. He gritted his teeth and nodded, letting Rey lead him deeper into the ship. When they reached her room he glanced around. The room was somehow alien and familiar all at once. Rey had  _ seen _ him here. He ran a hand absent-mindedly across the wrinkled white sheets, smoothing them. He had slept here, never seeing or feeling their coolness against his skin. He had loved her here, tangling both these sheets and those light-years away as neither saw anything but the other. His children had been conceived in this bed. He dropped down onto it, pulling Rey after him. She fell beside him and the two lay quiet for a moment, savouring the other’s closeness. 

 

‘She loves you.’ Rey said after a few minutes. ‘She has a lot on her mind.’ 

 

Rolling onto his back, Ben closed his eyes. ‘She always has.’ His tone was level, but Rey heard the hurt in it and frowned. She shuffled closer to Ben on the bed, leaning her head on her elbows so that she could see his face. 

 

‘I love you. And I only have one thing on my mind.’ She smirked at him as he half opened an eye, eyebrow raised.

 

‘You’re trying to distract me.’ He stated and Rey shrugged, smirk not budging.

 

‘Is it working?’ She continued to grin down at him for a moment, but Ben moved suddenly, taking her by surprise as he pushed her back down onto the bed. He knelt over her, trapping her between his knees as he bent to kiss her. 

 

‘It’s working,’ he muttered against her neck between kisses and she smiled as she felt him push the rough fabric of her robes aside to access the soft flesh of her breast, aching her back when his teeth grazed her nipple.

 

Rey combed her fingers through his hair as he kissed lower and lower and she felt the familiar ache building in her groin. She pushed him down further, impatient, but he paused, looking up and splayin his hand across her stomach. ‘I can’t believe we’re having children,’ he murmured, tone filled with awe. She propped herself up on her elbows to meet his gaze, and she was radiant, joy beaming from her eyes; grin threatening to expand beyond the limits of her face. He smiled back and it was the first time she had seen the sadness leave his eyes completely. He looked younger, free-er than she had seen him and she reached down to him, pulling him up to press a kiss to his mouth. 

‘You’ll be brilliant.’ She told him, cuffing his head when he shook it, his smile dropping. ‘You will. You love them so much already, I feel it-,’ her tone softened, and she cupped his cheek -’you’ve already put them first. This is what’s important. Us.’

 

‘Our family,’ he clarified, the corner of his lip quirking upwards as his smile returned. 

 

Rey nodded, placing her hand over the one still covering the place where their children were growing, reaching out in the Force to hear their heartbeats. Ben met her gaze and she knew he was doing the same. He kept his hand across her stomach, but lay back beside her. She rolled onto her side, resting her forehead against his and the two lay in silence, listening to the tiny lives they had created.

 

Time passed. When Rey noticed Ben stifle a yawn for the third time she gently pulled his hand from her stomach. ‘Sleep. We’re not going anywhere.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Shot has confirmed my opinion that Leia is a good person but a bad mum so my writing is vindicated, thanks. Also writing Mom is more irritating than it should be, I should get over myself but my Mum is such a pedant and she has influenced me too much. 
> 
> I still have no name for baby boy Organa-Solo - any suggestions welcome!!!! I'm close to just making something up because that makes sense, but Baby-Girl Organa-Solo has a meaningful name so... Who knows.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is maybe not trying his best this time. Rey is less than pleased.

The next few weeks were not the happy ending Rey had hoped for when she imagined Ben’s homecoming. She enjoyed the time she was able to spend with Ben, just the two of them, but excursions outside of her room - their room - were less than enjoyable. People did not trust Ben. That much was clear in the wide berth he, and by extension she, was given as they walked through the bright hallways of  _ The Holdo _ . That, he didn’t seem to notice, presumably used to the deference of stormtroopers and officers within the First Order; The awkward silence, or worse, open stares and whispers in the canteen was clearly bothering him though. Even Poe, who had been gung-ho about sticking his neck out for Ben when he had been absent, was either uncharacteristically quiet in his presence, or on occasion openly rude. Rey had initially assumed he was teasing, but there seemed to be a strange rivalry developing between the two and while she honestly couldn’t work out who started it, as it continued it made life unpleasant for anyone in their company; Ben’s sneers and Poe’s sarcastic responses lead to anyone forced to be in the same room as the two leaving as soon as possible. 

 

Despite this, Poe, Finn and Rose still insisted on sitting with them at mealtimes. Rey had mentioned to them privately that she would not be offended if they wanted to leave her and Ben alone until he was more settled - a phrase she used to sugar coat her concern that Ben had spent so long pretending to be Kylo he had actually forgotten how to be anything else with anyone but her. He leapt quickly to accusations and posturing which was not making the transition easy, and Leia seemed to be stepping back; whether because she wanted to let Ben find his own place within the resistance, or because she didn’t know how to deal with her son, Rey didn’t know. She knew the two avoided each other where possible. Rey had suggested a variety of areas where Ben could help, but there was little to do that didn’t require him to work well with others. 

 

He wound up under Poe’s direct command eventually, and Poe put him on flight sims in the short time Ben allowed for Resistance work, so he could get used to flying an X-Wing - something the pilot regretted after Ben beat several of his records within the first hour. Poe told himself it was a Force thing, but something inside him still niggled - could he even use the Force to help in a sim? It was a mystery. Still, the guy was an ass about it, and was causing more problems than he fixed. Not an ideal comrade.

 

Matters came to a head one day when they met in the corridor, one headed towards, one away from the canteen; the canteen they had an unspoken agreement that they would share their meals in. ‘Where are you going?’ Rey demanded, blocking Ben’s path. 

 

‘I’ll eat later.’ He told her and moved to go past. Rey scowled at him, refusing to let him pass.

 

‘I came now, specifically to see you. I’ve been sitting there feeling ill because I can smell food every day for a month, you can put up with feeling awkward.’ Ben shook his head, but made no real argument. ‘Right ,let’s go.’ Rey announced, turning. Ben did not follow. After a few steps she turned back and fixed him with a glare.

 

‘I’m not going, Rey. If it makes you ill you shouldn’t either.’ He stood his ground and Rey folded her arms. Her stomach was starting to show now, and she felt the swell under her forearm, almost distracting her from her point with its unfamiliarity. Unfortunately for Ben it didn’t. ‘I want to see my friends. I barely see them apart from our meals together.’ Ben’s scowl deepened.

 

‘I barely see you.’ he muttered and Rey turned to leave, giving up on the argument. ‘Sorry,’ Ben spoke at a normal volume this time and Rey stopped, turning but not moving any closer. He scowled and strode over to her, speaking quietly again. ‘They don’t want me there. You’ll have a better time without me, I’ll see you later on.’ He bent to kiss her before leaving, but she shook her head, turning away. 

‘That doesn’t work on me, I’m not you,’ She told him dryly, ‘I’m not that easily distracted. I want you there. You need to try and actually be nice to people and then you’ll be fine.’ Ben looked away, expression still sour and Rey raised a hand to rub her temple. ‘Please, Ben. Just try.’

‘Try?’ his gaze snapped back to her, ‘you think I’m not trying? You think I enjoy watching you with them?’ Rey stepped back and fixed him with a dangerous look. 

‘I don’t think I want to know what you mean by that.’ He held her gaze and she saw the rage flash behind his eyes, matching the anger burning in her gut. ‘Go and brood then. I’m going to eat.’ Ben muttered something as he stalked past her, but she didn’t hear and she wasn’t going to waste any effort asking him to repeat it. Head turned as she stormed into the canteen, and she had to remind herself to move quietly, pretend to be calm, pretend she wasn’t just moments away from hurling a table at somebody. She sat down heavily beside Finn who gave her a once over and frowned. 

 

‘What’s going on?’ Rey stabbed the food as though it was the root of her anger and shrugged. ‘You’re feeling ok?’ Rey scowled over at him and he held up his hands. ‘I’m just worried, Rey.’ He glanced around, looking for Ben and realisation dawned. ‘Your - uh - Ben?’

 

Rey stabbed another piece of meat and shoved it into her mouth, nodding. ‘He’s not even trying anymore,’ she spoke through a mouthful of food, gesticulating with her fork, ‘I’m trying and I’m growing people inside me. Idiot.’ Finn didn’t know if she was referring to Ben or to herself, but he could see an argument in both cases. 

 

‘You want me to go and talk to him?’ he offered and her eyes widened. She swallowed quickly. 

 

‘I don’t- You don’t have to. Like I said, if you guys want to just avoid him that’s fine.’

 

‘It’s an adjustment though,’ Finn said, looking off into somewhere Rey was sure was not really the corner of the room, ‘for him, I mean. Coming here after-’ Rey nodded. 

 

‘You’re welcome to try,’ She stabbed another piece of food and shoved it into her mouth, ‘don’ get punched,’ Finn shot her a smile, and rose. ‘Or choked, or stabbed!’ Rose and Poe called helpfully from the table as he left. He held up his hands as he walked backwards from the room.

 

‘I’ll try.’ He told them dryly, turning when he reached the door.

 

***

Ben sat on his bed, eyes closed, trying to meditate. He tried to let himself drift away in the Force, imagining his edges softening and dissolving, and the tightness in his chest being finally released. It was useless. He was alone, again and once again it was his own fault. He couldn’t do this. Acting as Supreme Leader was difficult and miserable and he would rather die than go back, but something in him muttered that death might be easier than this too - than trying to be something he could never be. He sighed and blinked his eyes open, clenching a fist by his side and counting his breaths. 

 

The lack of friendship or even basic companionship within the First Order had been something he viewed as a boon - a sign that he didn’t belong there - that he was better than the depraved, power-hungry men and women with whom he spent his everyday. Here, with the Resistance, the lack of trust and friendship was a sign that he wasn’t enough; that the darkness in him was still destroying everything he hoped for. Of course he had never been enough, he knew that - so much weight and responsibility wherever he was, whether because of his mother, his Uncle, his namesake, or his grandfather. He wasn’t enough for his mother, or his Uncle, even Snoke. He had been too much for his father. He had come back for Rey and for his family, and he was still not enough for them. He couldn’t make her happy; he saw her with her friends, how free and happy she was, yet with him… They were happy. But she was weighed down when she was with him; he felt the heaviness in her soul that matched his own.

 

Everything else he could suffer through; he could take the stares and the fears of his comrades, he could deal with Poe’s fragile ego and his snide comments; he could let the man command him when that was the best course of action. He could live with his mother’s disappointment and her lack of interest in working through the issues that plagued their relationship. He should calm down. He stood suddenly, beginning to pace and mutter head bowed. What was the ideal here? Did he want to be a part of Rey’s little group of friends? He didn’t like them, he didn’t really understand or have anything in common with them. All he wanted was Rey’s happiness and the safety of their babies. If he had to try with her friends he would, but he didn’t know how or where to start, kriff, why was everything so hard? Why was the one good thing in his life becoming yet another burden? Why was-

 

The door handle turned.

 

‘Not now, Rey.’ He called, needing more time to work out where he stood. The door opened nonetheless, but it was not Rey who stood, watching him with apprehensive eyes. 

 

‘Hey, you ok?’ Finn spoke cautiously, all of a sudden aware that his friend’s jokes may not have been as far from the truth as he would like; he had seen Kylo Ren in action, and heard the whispers amongst the troops of his uncontrollable anger and rages that would destroy swathes of equipment in moments. He was not going to step into the room without invitation, not until he knew if he was dealing with Kylo or with Ben. He leant back slightly as the man’s head snapped round and he saw him wrestle for a moment opening his mouth to speak quickly, but closing it again without uttering a word. 

 

‘FN-2187’ He said eventually, greeting him with malice in his tone. ‘What are you doing here?’

 

‘Rey’s upset. I figured I kind of understood where you’re at right now, you know. A bit anyway. But if you don’t want me here I’ll go,  _ Kylo. _ ’ The man flinched visibly at Finn’s use of his alias, and he straightened his posture, the clenched fist at his side uncurling gradually as he forced himself into a better frame of mind. 

 

‘I don’t want to upset her.’ He said eventually, and Finn rolled his eyes, stepping into the room.

 

‘Yeah I got that. You’re going to need to at least try to talk to other people though, look, I-,’ Finn paused thinking his words through carefully. Giving ben the wrong idea about his feelings towards Rey was probably one of the dumbest things he could do if he meant to walk out of the door he stood inches in front of. ‘When I first got here, Rey was a lifeline. She was pretty much my first friend other than Poe and I thought he was dead on Jakku somewhere. And then I was unconscious for a while and when I woke up we were running from the First Order and there was stuff to do. All I wanted to do was make sure she was safe and find somewhere away from all this. I’m guessing you’re thinking of going in a similar direction? Find somewhere quiet, stay safe with your family, right?’ He met Ben’s eyes and saw the other man nod, just slightly - almost a twitch more than a nod, but Finn knew he was right. ‘Yeah, then I made more friends. Poe was alive and Rose was around, and I figured the galaxy needs all the help it can get even if that’s just some maintenance guy running away from the only place he ever called home.’

 

Ben cleared his throat and motioned for Finn to follow as he walked through, past the bed he now shared with Rey and into the small room they used to meditate and train. He grabbed a bottle of water and offered Finn one. He took it and followed Ben to a small table in the corner on which a pile of old books lay alongside writing equipment. They sat opposite each other and Finn waited as Ben took a long drink from the bottle. After a moment the knight spoke, having gathered his thoughts sufficiently. ‘Thank you for coming here,’ he began avoiding eye contact. ‘I understand I haven’t exactly been friendly. You more than anyone have reason to dislike me.’ He paused again, expression souring as his eyes darted to one side, ‘aside from my Mother, I suppose. And Rey, but she’s -’ he smiled to himself a moment and Finn was taken aback by the tenderness with which he spoke, ‘-different. Perfect.’ He cleared his throat again, refocusing and looking up to meet Finn’s questioning gaze with a cool confidence that seemed to quickly erase the raw emotion he had seen just moments ago, ‘As for the galaxy, however, I happen to think I have done enough, one way or another.’ Finn didn’t flinch at the gaze, setting himself on the same level as his former superior. 

 

‘Your children will need a galaxy to live in.’ He said simply, and Ben scowled, glancing down again.

 

‘You doubt my ability to keep my family safe?’ there was a warning in his tone, but Finn stood his ground. If Ben did anything it would at least show his true character, which was something Rey deserved to see, he decided. He would not be scared out of speaking his mind. 

 

‘No. But I know they’d be happier if they knew the world they lived in was at peace. You can’t just hide them from it, they’ll find out eventually. Do you want them to think you lied?’ He did flinch as Ben’s fist hit the table and the man half rose from his seat, looming over him.

 

‘I will not lie to them.’ He snarled and for a moment Finn wondered if speaking his mind had been the best course of action. Just for a moment though - Ben had not done anything, he had just tried to threaten him which was something he had dealt with many times before and not something he would be cowed by anymore. Finn did nothing, and after a moment Ben sat again, running a hand through his hair, clearly rattled. ‘I will never lie to them about anything, not who they are, not what I’ve done, not their past. Nothing.’ He pressed his lips together and Finn saw his bottom lip quiver for a second and he looked up past Finn. ‘I promise.’ Finn turned and saw nothing, and Ben’s gaze snapped back to him. ‘Sorry. Rey was there, just for a second. I guess I needed her to hear that.’ he shrugged slightly and settled back in the seat. ‘I hear what you’re saying. I should commit to this, the Resistance, not just Rey. I’ll try to be less... ‘ he reached for a word, but Finn finished his sentence.

 

‘Less Kylo. More Ben. Rey’s told us a lot of nice things about Ben and I don’t think I’ve met him yet.’ Ben nodded and Finn stood, holding out a hand for him to shake. Ben eyed it for a moment, but took it and Finn used the opportunity to pull him into a brief hug. Ben stiffened, but allowed it, pulling away as soon as he could. ‘Not really a hugging kind of guy.’ he muttered and Finn laughed. 

 

‘I never would have guessed. You want to go eat?’ 

 

‘I suppose I should.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I hope Finn was ok?? I am baaad at writing him. So many edits and rewrites and I still don't think I've nailed him. Also writing him and Ben talking is wierd, but I think they work as unlikely pals (eventually. baby steps)
> 
> Also I just wanted to throw in a little nod to Kylo's disneyland victory vote about who is the better pilot because I couldn't help myself.
> 
> I think I have a name for baby boy Solo now!! but it might be a bit corny idk - if you want to help out come talk to me on tumblr! - reylo-ology.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just some lovely reylo fluff this chapter, not a lot happens.

Ben awoke suddenly, breath coming short and fast, hands clenched in shaking fists, his nails digging angry moons into his palms. His shoulders shook as great shuddering sobs wracked his body and he struggled to breath. Beside him Rey turned, blinking groggily, words slurred as she woke gradually. ‘S’ok,’ she muttered, offering vague comfort as she struggled to rouse herself. ‘Go back t’sleep, just a dream.’ She told him, though she knew this would not be enough. He sat hunched against the headboard, fingers uncurled now as he wrapped his arms around his knees pulling them into his chest. Looking up at him Rey saw his gaunt expression and lack of colour, and screwed her eyes closed and shook her head a little, forcing herself awake. Ben made no response to her words, his head now buried in his knees, and she sat up laboriously, crawling across to fall into a sitting position beside her partner. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer into her. ‘Ben, what is it?’  she asked urgently, but he still didn’t respond. She groaned slightly and closed her eyes, searching him out in the force, quickly finding the bright, broken soul that seemed to be so close to her own it was almost a part of her. He opened his eyes as she pushed, raising his head just slightly to look at her, face blotchy and tear stained. 

 

‘It was- Snoke, he was  _ there,  _ his voice in my head again - it felt so real, I- He was going to find them, he was going to-’ he gripped her hand suddenly, almost crushing her fingers in his, ‘we have to keep them safe.’

 

Rey pulled her hand away gently and carded her fingers through his hair, working through tangles gently as she spoke. ‘He’s gone, Ben. You killed him, I saw him die.’ She paused, letting him process her words, remember where he was. ‘You’re safe. We’re safe, the babies are safe,’ she smiled and pulled her arm from his shoulders, placing it over the swell of her stomach. ‘Feel them. They’re fine, they’re happy.’ He nodded, breathing slowly and deliberately and uncurling slightly to extend an arm. Rey grabbed his hand and placed it where one of the twins had been kicking. Sure enough moments later she felt the impact and looked up to see the corner of Ben’s lip twitch into a smile. ‘See,’ she told him, smiling at his awed expression. ‘They’re fine. Now go back to sleep, you’re going out on drills with Poe tomorrow and you have to be nice.’ Ben laughed weakly and nodded. 

 

‘I’m trying to be nice. He’s not helping,’ he told her, helping her back down off the pillows and pressing a kiss to her temple before laying beside her. ‘He said my performance in the sims was the best he’d ever seen and managed to make it sound like an insult.’ Ben smirked and Rey shoved his shoulder. 

 

‘Stop it,’ she yawned. ‘Go to sleep.’

 

When they woke, Rey had turned over to face away from Ben, and he had curled around her, his arm resting over her stomach. ‘Morning,’ he murmured, nuzzling behind her ear, kissing along the line of her hair as it grew back from her ear and down her neck. She smiled and turned inelegantly, cupping his cheek as she kissed the hollow of his throat and snuggled her head under his chin. ‘Sssh,’ she whispered, closing her eyes, ‘not yet,’ He chuckled into her hair.

 

‘Sorry I woke you last night,’ he swallowed and Rey thought she felt a slight shudder pass through him. 

 

‘He really is gone, you know,’ Rey told him. ‘If you’re hearing him that’s just your head,’ Ben flinched at that. 

 

‘I don’t know if that’s better or worse,’ he told her, sighing and disentangling himself from her, beginning to rise. 

 

‘I didn’t mean you were -’ Rey began, shuffling herself awkwardly to the side of the bed- kriff, giving chase was hard when you were this pregnant- but he interrupted, allaying her fears,

 

‘No, I didn’t mean that Just that if it’s me it’s harder to get rid of.’ He tugged the corner of his mouth into his cheek, and began to pull on the khaki tunic and belt he had taken to wearing, distancing himself from his previous image in any way he could. He shrugged it over his shoulders before turning to help Rey out of the bed. She threw her head back once she was up, yawning, before pulling off the shirt she had been sleeping in and looking around for her clothes.She caught Ben watching her and turned on her heel, facing him, hands on hips, face alight with false anger. ‘Can I help you?’ she asked, ‘or are you happy just watching me struggle?’ Colour rose in Ben’s cheeks, but he stood his ground.

 

‘I was actually wondering when the babies are coming,’ he said mildly, stepping toward her and pulling her closer to him. She shivered as the cold metal of his belt buckle hit her bare skin, but smiled up at him nonetheless. ‘I don’t know. I think it was… maybe that one night? You were upset about Hux doing something or just existing I don’t know, and I couldn’t talk you round, remember?’

 

Ben smirked. ‘I remember you kissing me whenever I tried to voice any complaints I had.’ Rey grinned at him, ‘I did more than kiss you.’ Her grin broadened as his cheeks coloured, and he scowled at the bodily betrayal. ‘If you recall,’ she smirked, walking her fingers down his chest as he watched, amused, ‘it takes more than that to make babies.’ Ben raised an eyebrow as her fingers met the point where her stomach rested against his. 

‘She says,’ he began snidely, grabbing her hand and bringing it to his lips for a second, ‘as though she had any forethought in that area.’  Rey’s smirk dropped and she snatched her hand back, stepping away from him and pointing. 

 

‘You were there too. This is on both of us, you don’t get to blame me. You don’t have to deal with any of this yet anyway.’

 

Ben held up his hands in surrender, still smiling which infuriated her further, ‘Which brings us back to my question. That was… I don’t know how long ago that was. It feels like a lifetime.’ 

 

Rey made herself smile back, fighting the anger that had bubbled up in her chest seemingly from nowhere. She knew he was joking, and that their current situation brought him nothing but joy, but it was bringing her backache and she didn’t remember the last time she had slept well. Of course Ben never slept well and he seemed happier than she’d ever seen him, but he didn’t have two small people squashing his bladder at all times. ‘Should only be a couple of months now.’ She paused before fixing him with a stern expression. ‘You need to talk to your mother.’ 

 

Ben’s shoulders dropped and he kicked his toe against the ground avoiding eye contact. ‘She’s avoiding me.’ He told Rey, who rolled her eyes. While Ben had warmed at least a little to Finn and Rose, he and Leia had barely spent any time in the same room since his return; each too proud to make the first move. She suspected that part of his disdain for Poe stemmed from the close relationship Poe and Leia shared. 

 

‘You’re avoiding her too.’ She wanted their children to come into a family that loved each other; she couldn’t let them be hurt by old wounds that had been allowed to fester. ‘Ben, please.’ She put her heart into those last words and he met her gaze again.

 

‘I’ll try.’ He promised, taking her hands. ‘I have two months, right?’ He flinched slightly as Rey kicked his shin halfheartedly and glared.

 

‘You can have until tonight. No more avoiding each other.’ She softened, running her thumbs over the back of his hands as she held them, ‘it might help - with the nightmares… If things are more settled between you two.’ Ben swallowed and nodded, watching her thumb move. He suspected her optimism was misplaced, but he would humour her for now. 

 

‘I’ll see if I can find her.’ he muttered. He kissed her forehead before releasing her hands and turning, floating her clothes across to her with a small gesture as he spotted them in a crumpled heap by the door to the ‘fresher before leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while... Or has it? I don't remember when i posted the last chapter of this tbh, my life has been hectic. Not bad hectic, just pretty busy. 
> 
> Anyways prepare yourselves for Ben's conversation with leia. I forsee things going.... well? badly? One of those.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither Ben nor Leia know how to deal with feelings and it all goes quite badly.

Ben found Leia sitting hunched at a table in the corner of one of the common areas, a large cup of caf beside her as she gripped a holopad, knuckles white. He stopped himself walking behind her and glancing at the information that had her rattled; if he needed to know she would tell him. He didn’t want to begin this by giving her cause to scold him - she had enough of that already should she deign to speak to him. He sat across the table from her and clear his throat. She looked up, her expression still neutral though her eyes betrayed the shock she felt at his choice to sit with her, ‘Is it urgent?’ she asked, no greeting, no preamble. Ben shrank a little in his seat, feeling like a six year old again as she looked back at the holopad without waiting for his answer. 

 

‘We should talk.’ He muttered, casting his eyes towards the rest of the room, not wanting to be overheard. The area was fairly quiet. It was early and the few rebels in there were either finishing or starting their shift; either way there was not a great deal of conversation in the room, and the hush made him uncomfortable. It was easier to regulate his thoughts when he could find distraction in the voices around him, and he intended to bring up some difficult topics with Leia. She shook her head opposite him. 

 

‘It’s not the best time.’ She told him, eyes still scanning through the information in front of her. He gave in to his curiosity and leaned across. Leia lowered the pad slightly, giving him permission to read. ‘Support is growing among core planets for the First Order, which we knew, but there’s been a breakout of new epidemics on several planets that don’t support them. I suspect chemical warfare. We need a way to provide aid.’ Ben glanced over the descriptions of symptoms and locations and swallowed. 

 

‘Hux knows I won’t be returning then.’ He blew out his cheeks and sighed. ‘I’d stopped this.’ He told her, and she looked up, something glinting in her eye. 

 

‘You knew about this? Do you know the delivery system, or the chemical makeup of the virus? Right now all we can do is provide generic care, but if we could provide a cure we could stop-’ Her words came faster and faster, but Ben shook his head, stopping her.

 

‘I don’t know what it is. I know it’s fast spreading, and it’s airborne transmission. He wanted to infect a trooper, send him onto the planet on a bogus mission and let events take their course.’  Leia grimaced as he spoke. 

 

‘Right. Do you have any ideas on how we should proceed? You know the First Order better than any of us.’ It wasn’t an accusation, but Ben flinched nonetheless. 

 

‘No. Mom, we need to-’ 

 

‘I’d appreciate it if you would at least be present in any planning meetings. We could use your intel.’  Ben nodded. That was fine. That was why he had been there anyway, and to be honest he was confused about the lack of debriefing when he had returned. He hadn’t pressed the issue, spending as little time as possible with anyone but Rey until recently, but he had been surprised that Leia hadn’t cornered him before now. 

‘We need to talk, Mom. About-’ he took a breath, ‘about everything.’ he glanced up quickly before examining his hands, tapping his fingers on the table. ‘About Dad.’ His final statement was almost too quiet to hear, but he saw Leia register the words like a blaster wound to the chest. She inhaled sharply. She had pushed the thought of Han down in her mind, prioritising their fight over her grief, allowing herself to dwell only in the few private moments she could steal before sleep overwhelmed her. 

 

‘I’m a little busy right now,’ she told him, beginning to stand. 

 

‘No, wait.’ Ben stood too, towering over her. ‘You can’t-, Mom-, look I need to-’

 

Leia looked up at him, trying to fight the rage bubbling just beneath her calm exterior. How dare he? After what he had done to destroy their family, how dare he demand absolution? ‘I suggest you sit down, son.’ She told him coolly, threat lurking beneath her quiet words. Heads had turned as he stood, pushing the chair loudly backwards, and she did not want this to become a scene. 

 

‘I’m not going to let you walk away.’ He told her, not moving.

 

She fixed him with a glare that could melt durasteel but kept her words mild. ‘I doubt you would stop me. Sit down and we can talk.’ She was not ready for this. She waited for him to sit before grabbing the back of her chair and sitting slowly, cursing her failing body as her knees objected silently. When had she grown so old? ‘What is it that you need to discuss so urgently.’ 

 

Ben took a breath, eyes closed. ‘I don’t know why you sent Dad after me.’ he began, and Leia’s hackles rose further. She let him continue for now. ‘I needed to keep my cover. I-’ he took a shaky breath, and Leia held up a hand before he continued. 

 

‘This is not on me, Ben.’ She was speaking to herself more than anyone else, but she saw how her words affected him; saw his fists clench on the table and his adam’s apple bob as he bit back his retort. ‘You left and I heard nothing from you for years. The only information I had on you was what we gleaned from reports, I didn’t know whose side you were on. You should have come home.’ She kept her words cool and calm, very aware that this was not the place for this conversation. Ben however did not have the same compunction and he slammed a fist on the table, making the people sitting on nearby couches and tables jump and turn to watch what was happening with Leia and her mysterious, potentially evil son. 

 

‘ _ You  _ were the one who sent me in with no plan, no real awareness of what I was walking into.  _ I  _ didn’t know what side I was on.’ His voice was louder now, and people were not masking their interest, the few quiet conversations that had been going on slowing or stopping, turning to a tense silence which filled the room. Ben didn’t register what was happening, caught up in his own indignance. ‘I  _ had  _ to use the dark to convince Snoke, I  _ had  _ to play along so I was ready when you needed me. When I saw Dad was on the ship, I thought maybe he was here to give me some direction, a message or something. He shouldn’t have approached me. He-’ Leia rose now, standing over Ben, furious that he was putting the blame on Han, her Han who had given his life trying to bring their son home. 

 

‘He was trying to help you, Ben - to get you out of there. He was trying to bring you  _ home.’  _

 

‘If you wanted me here you shouldn’t have sent me away.’ Ben stood too, leaning over the table towards his mother, hissing the words. ‘I. Had. No. Choice.’ He told her, ‘You think I wanted to- You think I could- That that was something I would ever want to-’ he turned suddenly, kicking the chair behind him before whirling back around, hair hanging messily over his flashing eyes as he breathed heavily. ‘I gave everything to the resistance. Everything. Don’t hate me because you did the same.’ 

 

Leia’s did not react to Ben’s violent outburst, but her eyes flashed back at him reflecting the same rage that had lead to it. When she spoke her voice was scarily quiet. ‘I did not send Han after you as a sacrifice for our cause.’

 

Ben’s arm twitched and for a second she saw his intent. He wanted to hit her. She stepped back, but it was without true cause - he restrained himself there at least. ‘You sent me.’ He roared, turning his rage on the table rather than his mother, wresting it from where it was slotted into the flooring and overturning it. As he kicked the offending piece of furniture, Leia turned and left the room without speaking. When Ben looked up, distraught and dishevelled she was gone, but all eyes in the room were on him. He sank to his knees, bracing against the ground with one hand while he covered his face with the other; the rebels in the room had seen him breakdown already, what did it matter if they saw how weak he was. He tried to breath through his tears, counting himself down from the precipice he had built for himself.

 

After a moment he heard someone clear their throat beside him. He looked up to see Rose crouching next to him,  ‘You need a hand clearing this up?’ She asked, glancing around at the wreckage he had created. When he met her eyes, confused she leant back a little, obviously unsettled by his movement. ‘I can leave if you want. Or get everyone else to leave too if you need to break more things.’ Ben shook his head.

 

‘I’ll clear up,’ he told her, sitting back on his heels. ‘You don’t have to help.’ Rose stood and offered him her hand, but he refused. He stood too, feeling too big for the room. Rose’s height didn’t help how obvious he felt.  She smiled up at him, pity in her eyes that made him want to curl up again and dissolve into nothingness. 

 

‘I want to help.’ She told him, grabbing the edge of the table and trying to lift it. ‘This is really heavy. You’d need help anyway.’ Ben furrowed his brow, distracted from his angst by her ridiculous statement, and bent to lift the table with one hand. She glowered at him. ‘Ok so you didn’t need help. I’m still staying. I can get the chairs.’ She continued to force cheerfulness into her tone. She felt for the guy, she did. He perhaps didn’t have the best outlet for his pain, but she saw how much Rey loved him, how much Finn now seemed to respect him and how much he seemed to have given to the cause she believed in; she’d help him if he needed it, and right now? He needed it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah they're both being dumb and Rose is a precious flower who must be protected (fortunately she has a taser and can protect herself but Ben doesn't need tased right this second)
> 
> Clean up on Aisle Skywalker anyone? idk man I'm tired today. Also chemical warfare is a thing now. Hux is a bad dude.
> 
> Comments/kudos make me happy and may make me regain sanity but that's a long shot.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resolution! Catharsis! And more! (Lots of crying)

Leia sat in her chambers and seethed. As usual her nerf-brained son was being completely unreasonable and she had let him win their little argument, choosing to distance herself rather than continue the confrontation. That, she supposed, came from the twenty four years of life experience she held over him, though if she was honest she didn’t feel that she had handled the situation with a great deal of wisdom. Too fiery, too quick to action and accusations -  _ too much of your father in you -  _ a voice niggled in the back of her mind, but she pushed it down. She would have killed him in an instant; she had tried on several occasions, only to be held back by Han. Han, who made her stop and think before she plunged into situations, despite his own lack of self-preservation in those same scenarios. Han who had save her, and who she had saved many times; Han who had held her and Ben close in the moments after his birth and who had looked as terrified and awed as she felt at the life they had created; Han who had told her again and again not to send their son away, that they could help him themselves; Han who had forgiven her when she could not forgive herself when their son had failed his training and she had sent him away yet again; Han who she had sent to bring him home; Han who she had lost to their cause, like so many others and yet like nothing she had felt before. 

 

Han was not Anakin Skywalker. He had made his mistakes, that was not something she would deny, but he had never knowingly harmed Ben, neither of them had. And Ben was- Well he  _ wasn’t _ evil, though he played the part admirably, he was still her son. He had been seeking absolution when he’d approached her, though he had not actually admitted fault as far as she could tell. She knew he felt it. She sighed. She should go to him and listen, admit her own role in the disaster his life had become. He was having his own children now, he needed to see how parents dealt with the mistakes they made. She wanted her grandchildren to grow up happy; she had no doubt they would be loved, but neither Ben nor Rey were the most emotionally stable parents. Kriff, she would wager that she and Han had been more stable, at least than Ben, and their son had not grown to be a happy adult. She closed her eyes for a moment. She should have dealt with her grief before now, but just as with her home she had held onto her anger for too long, and failed the people who needed her. She wouldn’t fail Ben. Not again.

 

She stood and left her rooms, bumping into Rey who had been in the process of barging into them. ‘Rose told me what happened, look Ben probably didn’t handle things-’ Leia held up a hand to stop her. 

 

‘Things got out of hand. I’m going to deal with it.’ She went to move past, but Rey stepped in front of her.

 

‘Deal with it?’ She demanded and Leia smiled at her indignance.

‘I’d appreciate it if you were there. Ben is calmer around you, I fear I’ve burned too many bridges for us to have a productive conversation without someone to ease the tension.’ Rey deflated slightly, but smiled back tersely and nodded.

 

‘Right.’ She sighed. ‘I need us to get to the bottom of this. He barely sleeps, and that along with this -’ she gestured to her stomach ‘-means that I don’t get to sleep at all.’

 

Leia paused at her choice of words. ‘You think there’s something more to it? Something we don’t know?’ Beside her Rey swallowed and stepped forward slightly, letting the door hiss closed behind her.

 

‘They talked, on the bridge. I didn’t hear what was said, but I know they spoke before-’ She stopped and glanced down trying to quash the faint nausea that hit along with the image of Ben- her Ben - killing his father. ‘I just don’t see how he could do it.’ She said, looking up at Leia, almost pleading. ‘He’s not- I just think there must be something else. He told me he was just panicking, but I- I don’t know. It felt off.’ Leia nodded thoughtfully.

 

‘And you want this to be sorted out before the twins are born.’ 

 

Rey bit her lip and nodded back.  ‘We don’t want to lie to them - about anything. It’s important to Ben, but I need to know what the truth actually is first.’

 

Leia sighed. She knew she needed to have this discussion, but she wished Rey didn’t need to be involved. The girl was family, of course she was, but she wished she hadn’t been drawn into the whirlpool of skywalker drama that had threatened to destroy them since before she was born. She hoped that the intentions she and Ben were setting out could hold up and that the cycle could be broken. ‘Ok, let’s go.’ They left the room and set off, Leia assuming Rey knew where Ben would be. She shot the girl a questioning look when she realised where they were headed. ‘Why is he in the hangar?’ If he was leaving, he was not the man she hoped he could be. 

 

‘Rose’s idea of helping someone calm down seems to be arming them with tools and letting them loose on a ship.’ Rey shrugged, ‘I can see how that might help.’ She had spent her fair share of time kicking apart unsatisfactory or damaged craftsmanship that she later fixed. Destroying something when you had good reason was just as satisfying. She was surprised to see Ben sitting quietly beside Rose, head bent over a hexagonal fulstar plate as Rose pointed out the damage that needed fixing. He grunted and held out a hand for the fusioncutter Rose held, but she didn’t hand it over. 

 

‘I’ll finish this. Looks like you’re needed elsewhere.’ 

 

Ben looked up and sighed. He was not ready for this right now. ‘I told you it was fine.’ He spoke directly to Rey, ignoring his mother. ‘I’ll be professional in meetings, we don’t need to talk outside of that. It’s fine.’ The twitch below his eye indicated that it was not, in fact, fine, and Rey raised an eyebrow. 

 

‘I didn’t believe you then and I don’t believe you now. Come on, let’s go, we’ll talk in our room.’  She walked behind him and started to tug on his sleeve, but he was clearly beyond finding her amusing right now. He stood, clearing his throat and shooting her a filfthy look before turning to Rose. 

 

‘Rose, you were,’ he cleared his throat again, ‘you were very kind. Thank you.’ Rose smiled and nodded to him before looking back to the plate on the table below her. 

 

‘I hope you manage to get things straight.’

 

Ben swallowed and nodded before turning to walk beside Rey. Leia was already on the way towards Ben and Rey’s rooms, not ready to look him in the eye yet, and they followed close behind. Somewhere along the way Rey reached for his hand, and he let her take it. ‘I’m not angry with  _ you,’  _ he told her quietly. ‘I know you want things to be right, but that might not be an option. It doesn’t have any influence on your relationship with her. I know you’re important to each other.’ 

 

Rey shot him an exasperated look. ‘She’s your mother, Ben. You can’t just give up on that, kriff if I had the chance-’ she glanced away and Ben squeezed her hand. 

 

‘Sorry.’ He said, and Rey didn’t know if he was sorry she had been abandoned or that he was being stubborn, ‘they didn’t deserve you.’ The former then. She sighed and shook her head at him. 

 

‘That’s not what I was looking for and you know it.’ Rey muttered at him and he shrugged.Ahead of them Leia listened, her amusement at Rey’s interactions with her son soothing her slightly and helping clear her head of the fog of anger and hurt that had been clouding it. She thanked the maker, as she often did, for Rey’s presence in both her her life and that of her son. Reaching Rey’s - Ben and Rey’s - room, she waited for the two to move past and open the door before following them in. As the mechanism hissed closed, she sat at the small table in the corner. Rey pushed Ben into the seat beside her before sitting opposite the two and leaning forward, staring intensely at Ben. ‘We know there’s more to it than you’ve been telling us,’ she said bluntly, aware that ‘it’ did not need explaining in this case. Ben knew the root of the current tension between him and his mother. Everyone knew. He scowled at her but did not deny it. Beside him Leia cleared her throat. 

 

‘I don’t know if you’re aware of what happened at my end.’ She started softly, hoping that if she bared her soul he might be inclined to reciprocate. ‘I told him not to go. We argued about it all night, but he-’ she swallowed, remembering her last night with her husband, ‘- he wanted to see you again. I was the one who insisted you go to Luke, and that was hardly a good idea in hindsight. I thought maybe this time his plan might be the one to help you.’ She looked at the table. Beside her Ben folded his arms, shoulders hunched and knuckles white as he gripped his elbows. Rey could almost feel his nails on her own arms as they dug into his skin. As Leia fell silent he opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. A strangled sound came from his throat and he stared at his arms. 

 

‘Ben,’ Rey spoke softly. He looked up, eyes pleading.  _ Don’t make me do this. I can’t. I-  _ she heard his voice in his head for the first time in what felt like years; they had both accepted that it was an intrusion - when they were in the same place, on the same page it wasn’t necessary. She put her hand to her stomach, reaching inwards to find the tiny heartbeats and the bright, pulsing light that lived within her. She pushed the feeling back at Ben.  _ For them.  _ She thought.  _ We don’t lie. We don’t keep secrets from family.  _ He looked down again. ‘Please.’ She asked, verbally this time. Leia looked up at her and smiled sadly. 

 

‘I’ve said what I need to Rey. If Ben’s not ready, don’t push-’

 

‘There was more than was spoken aloud.’ Ben said, voice so quiet it was almost imperceptible. His eyes flicked up for a moment to meet Leia’s, to show he was trying. He might not feel ready, but this wasn’t about him anymore. ‘I went into his mind. I asked, or- I didn’t push hard, at least.’

 

Han had let him in and then a rush of stale air hit him, the change in air quality making him feel light headed for a moment. They were on the falcon. Han sat in the pilot’s seat and gestured for Ben to sit beside him. ‘If you don’t mind my saying, you’ve done a pretty terrible job of killing Ben Solo,  _ Kylo,’  _ he jibed, and Ben scowled back at him.

 

‘You shouldn’t be here.’ 

 

‘I think I’m exactly where I need to be. I’m your Dad, you’re in trouble.I know enough about parenting to know it’s my job to get you out of it.’ Han insisted and Ben scoffed.

 

‘When have you ever got anyone  _ out  _ of trouble,’ he asked, unable to stop himself being drawn into his father’s glib tone despite the situation. Han laughed, but it didn’t last.

 

‘There’s my boy,’ his tone shifted back to a serious one. ‘Come home, Ben. You don’t have to do this anymore.’ Ben avoided his gaze.

 

‘I do.’ He muttered. ‘You don’t- You weren’t-’

 

Han sighed, rubbing his temples. ‘If this is about Luke, he’s not dead. Pissed and hiding somewhere, but not dead. Look, you messed up, but you don’t have to give your life to righting one mistake you made. You were a kid. Hell, you still are a kid.’ Ben bit his lip, his fist clenching as he tried to keep himself from tears. 

 

‘I have to finish this. It’s not just-’ he cleared his throat, ‘I’ve done more since then. I’ve gone too far down this path to turn back.’ 

 

‘So what happens now then?’ Han asked, deflating in the seat beside Ben. He looked younger in here than he did in reality, but his eyes betrayed him. They were so tired. So old. Ben swallowed.

 

‘You have to go.’ He told his father, but he was at risk here. Han knew him too well, and while he was in his head it was harder to keep his walls up. He saw Han recognise the fear in his voice. His father pulled his mouth to one side, and when he spoke it was with trepidation. 

 

‘What happens to you? I’m guessing Snoke won’t be too happy with us having a little chat and then me leaving.’ Ben tried to brush it off, but his voice wavered a little.

 

‘I’ll be fine. Go,’ it cracked on the final syllable and Han shook his head.

 

‘Ah, kid.’ each word was heavy with emotion and Ben felt his lip quiver. ‘I’m not going to leave you to be murdered by that sarlacc-looking sith-for-brains. You know what you need to do.’ Ben shook his head, but Han fixed him with an intense look. ‘You want to keep fighting your mother’s cause, right?’ he softened again. ‘I don’t think she’d survive losing you.’ The intensity returned. ‘It’s not on you. I walked into this.’ With that Ben felt himself pushed, gently, from Han’s mind. He let it happen, feeling as though he were in a dream. 

 

They were on the bridge. His saber was a weight on his side dragging him down. With shaking hands he pulled it from its holster and offered it to his father. Han watched him, those same tired eyes, reaching his hand to cover Ben’s on the hilt. 

 

The blade ignited.

 

He felt Han’s calloused hand on his face - forgiveness. 

 

It wasn’t enough. 

 

By the time he finished telling the story both he and Leia were weeping openly, foreheads pressed together as they gripped the other’s shoulders. ‘I’m sorry.’ Ben heaved for what sounded like the hundredth time and Leia shook her head. ‘Not your fault. It’s not your fault. I forgive you.’ She repeated over and over as sobs shuddered through her son, his tears joining hers as they fell in the space between them. Opposite them, Rey closed her eyes. She felt out of place - she shouldn’t be here. It was like she was watching Leia shower. She tried to stand quietly to sneak out of the room, but was unable to suppress the huff of breath that came from the effort of standing. Leia looked up, pulling Ben closer to her as she did, cradling his head against her. ‘You don’t have to go.’ She told Rey quietly. Rey shook her head.

 

‘This is between you. It’s a family thing -’ Rey started to waddle across the room, but Ben spoke, his voice muffled against his mother’s arm. 

 

‘You’re family.’ His voice was weak, but the sentiment behind it was strong. She stopped, still looking at Leia. 

 

‘He’s right,’ the general told her. ‘Get in here.’

 

Rey came back, sitting down again. Ben flung out an arm across the table and she took his hand, rubbing her thumb in soothing motions over the back of his hand. Leia extended her arm to Rey and the three sat, hands joined, Ben still leaning against his mother as his weeping subsided into silent tears to match Leia’s. Rey felt a lump in her throat as she sat across from the remnants of the Skywalker family. Her family. She let her tears fall.

 

It was going to be ok. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I've mentioned worrying about baby names, but this feels like an ending? I might write an epilogue with the babies being born. But if not they were called Hanna and Alder because I'm sentimental and so is Ben despite all his posturing. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> Comments and kudos are lovely fun validation.


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